Time to be Real.

I am on social media everyday.

I think social media is good for a few things such as brand building, promoting, and there are some good quotes and feel good thoughts posted. You can keep up to date with what your friends and family are doing, help to bring awareness on certain issues around the world… and well, that’s about it.


When you pose for a photo, generally you smile. Even if you feel sad or alone, you smile, and when people see that photo they think, “Wow, she looks so happy.”


Social media is about capturing one moment in time, or that’s what it used to be about. Now it’s about creating a moment for social media. I read a quote the other day that said, “If you don’t catch a moment on social media, does that mean it didn’t happen?”


Social media reminds me everyday that I have an ego: I want more followers, more sponsors, more of this and more of that, but in all actuality, I have everything I need. I have made many mistakes in my life, one of them being that because I rarely feel satisfied, not often enough do I stop to realize the beauty in my life. Marriage takes work, and distance from my wife is a struggle. My soccer career has been hard, really hard for years. I miss my family every single day (the one in Germany and the ones in Canada and the USA), and I have moments of utter happiness, and moments where I feel like I’ll never be enough, but social media only captures what we choose to share, and those are generally the happy snippets of life. What social media rarely captures is the day-to-day reality. From now on I hope to give you a more honest look into my life. It’s a lot of moments of repetition, discipline, recovery, reading; some might consider it pretty boring, but what I want is to be as real as possible.


My grandmother Inga, who was 97 years old, just passed away. What I loved about her is that you knew without a doubt what mattered in her life. She had photos of family all over the house, every email any of us ever sent her, postcards from around the world, and she even had her kids’ drawings from when they were kids. Her pride came from all of us. I once told her I might get into politics, and she said, “Look at that, a future Prime-Minister.” She didn’t know how to think small when it came to her family, and none of us ever wanted to let her down. My other grandmother, who is almost 90, has the same core values and priorities. We became roommates right after my grandfather passed away. My family was in Indonesia, but I wanted to be in Canada to try and get a soccer scholarship, so I returned without my family to Canada and moved in with my grandmother who put on a brave face everyday, having just lost the love of her life, and she spoiled me rotten with her cooking and her love. I still call her Roomie. She would have done for anyone else in our family what she did for me. She has always been and continues to be the glue on my mom’s side of the family. There is something about that generation. They are not wasteful. They cherish every person in their life. They love talking about the weather, and there is always time to visit. They don’t pull out a phone to put something online: they let the moment sink in.


I’m not suggesting that stopping social media altogether is the answer, although there have been a few times when I have deactivated my accounts. However, I think it’s important to know what your values are and what you stand for, and don’t be deceived by all the social media that surrounds us. The photos online are alluring, but rarely do you see the entire story behind the Instagram post or tweet. In reality, nothing that is ever worth it comes easily.


I have started to put a cap on the time I’m online. I stalk my wife;), my family, my friends, and then I fill out my daily wellness journal and do my German Duolingo (Language App). After that, I put my phone down. Life is too short to be obsessed with everyone else’s life, so I’m going to try and make sure I make the best of mine.

8 thoughts on “Time to be Real.

  1. I totally agree. I often go through times of finding myself too involved with following other peoples interests and lives and getting worked up over things I read online. We forget to just simply stop and notice the roses, let alone smell them. ❤️❤️


  2. You are right on! SM feeds into a persons envy-it is often harmful for goid mental health.
    Go outside, talk to someone younger or older than you, go to the farmers market, cook, hike.


  3. I listened to this tonight, and it reminded me of your entry. https://onbeing.org/series/podcast/

    Krista Tippett is pretty amazing in general, and her most recent podcast about boredom touched on some important points. She mentions kids at the beginning, but she rounds it out with some thoughts that apply to all of us. Maybe something to ponder or share.


  4. Hi Erin..I hope you can read these words easily, because I,m not so good in English… But I,all try to explain my mind..OK..yes you re right to thinks that the social median actuality is not the way to live ,cause no the real life… But reading your beautiful and truly words at same time was thinking …”but if the social not been exist…I don’t know how to say “sorry” your fans,including “me” ,no know you,..your smile,your sportive life, your incredible story.. For you I learn to know part of female soccer. ..but.anyway.. I want to thanks you ,for all the time ..I see you smile, I know Erin ..ist not same face in photo than real life..I know, I know.. Read under these words.. I know.. Thank Erin for you and wife..god bless you..I wish best of life ..now I m waiting to see in the pitch giving the best of you…


  5. This is so true, Erin! I consumed most of my time after I get off work reading and following folks from all walks of life that I rarely make time to engage with my own family! Thank you again.


  6. I quit all social media but YouTube (the place with the most ego, I hope I can navigate better there than twitter or Instagram). Doing so, this will probably be my last comment.
    Sometimes you can’t handle the truth of what others go through, especially when you have an empaths read on people. It’s like wearing special goggles that let you see what you want and interpret it the way you want, but at the same time you understand what’s really going on. I’m sorry I didn’t do this earlier. I should have stopped or not began in 2015 and just not get attached to people who are beautiful inside and out (on social media). If anything I have to work a lot on spiritual well being because I am losing a lot of faith and hope on people, spirit, and soul.
    You helped open a door on awareness in a different light by being you and by sharing your life. All through social media because I would have no clue who you were if not for it. I’m not Canadian nor a soccer fan, but Ella and yourself helped me realize there are people who I can cheer for no matter the differences. I have to walk out of my shadow (what I thought was my safe happy place) to really understand the good of that whole new perspective. I’m not sure what my life’s purpose is but I feel like what I am going through now is suffering, because it’s a rooted seed. The suffering drives a lot of my thoughts and creates stories. It’s like, well I’m using creativity so shouldn’t that be good? I wish my mind, heart, soul and spirit were like a tablet with Apps, where I can organize and delete. Use when I need it. Only thing is how did I get updates for those Apps? When did I let viruses in?
    Sending as much as possible of love and hope for both you and Ella. Earning back love is difficult and time is … what is time? Is it too late? Strange I signed up for social media (2015) because I wanted to follow the love you and Ella shared, because it’s positive. I know it can be positive but time was an obsession. When you don’t like time you change direction, but was it necessary? First step to what I hope is a positive transformation. I will need a lot of translators when it comes time for my life review… #lovelovelove


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